Taking Action
The Worrier to Warrior Blog
Weekly Reclamations of a Courageous Heart
“Taking Action”
During a recent offering of an experience I created to soothe the anxious mind and body, The Worrier to Warrior Workshop, I was asked about the most valuable thing I do to remain feeling calm and courageous enough to share as I do. In the past, I would have answered that anchoring into the present moment using awareness on my body or savouring long deep breaths was the key to remaining relaxed and grounded.
Both of those techniques are a huge part of my daily life, but what I’ve come to understand about resilience is that its something that grows stronger with practice. If you’re afraid to step into who you know you’re meant to be, whether in your career, relationships or your relationship with a habit or tendency, take the stress out of it by breaking it down into manageable steps.
When we have an opportunity to step onto a bigger stage or make a larger impact, we can often become paralyzed by fear or self-doubt. Our brains would rather we stay safe and comfortable on the couch with snacks, but we’re also wired to strive for more. This inner conflict is tricky to navigate. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by opportunity and change. We often talk ourselves out of stepping into our power and purpose.
A SIMPLE ANSWER
The answer is simpler than we might expect (as solutions often are). When faced with any formidable challenge, take the next action. Let go of the chaotic thoughts that warn about what people will think, that ask "who we think we are to try such an audacious thing?" These thoughts are habits born of beliefs we all carry that hold us back, blended with a negativity bias that causes us to look for the dangers in all situations.
As an entrepreneur with my own yoga and coaching business, I follow this advice all the time. As much as I love to travel and teach my workshops in new cities and countries, it scares me too. I hear my inner dialogue ask, “What if they don’t like it?” “What if no one comes?” "Who am I to teach this stuff?"
THE FEAR OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK
Writing a blog and posting on social media also triggers worry about how it will be received. We’re wired to look for approval. Once upon a time we depended on getting along with our tribes so as not to be exiled and left to fend for ourselves in the wild. People-pleasing is deeply ingrained, and it gets worse as much of the messaging around us conspires to let us know we’re not enough as we are. We must be on the diet, take the course, buy the skin cream and change our personalities in dozens of ways to live up to the idealized versions of ourselves we’ve been taught we should be to be loved.
The comfort we have around “putting ourselves out there” is related to how worthy we feel. But, we increase our feelings of worthiness after we have done something we were afraid to do. Feeling the discomfort, sitting with the vulnerability, and doing the thing anyway, teaches us we’re stronger than we think.
If you have an idea, a direction you’d like to go, a change you’d like to make, ask yourself, what’s the first action I can take? Write down that action and set a time and date to do it. Prepare for the action by visualizing yourself doing it and feeling amazing about it. Dreaming and fantasizing about a positive experience of completing your desired task can create an inspired action; an action that feels supported, effortless and often leads to surprising outcomes.
I’m taking a few actions in my life that I’d like to share with you. I’ve created a new website, and I’ve done that because it has the capabilities to support what I’d like to offer. When I launched my first site, I didn’t like to look at it and I didn’t know why. When I investigated the reason, I realized I was super uncomfortable to look at myself and carried a lot of unconscious unworthiness around pictures of me in public.
PURPOSE IGNITES POWER
The sense of purpose I feel when I’m sharing the tools that have helped me recover from disordered anxiety is always slightly stronger than my self-doubt. So, even though I've been afraid, I have been taking the next action step, albeit slowly and sometimes cautiously, for the past decade. I’ve been unknowingly teaching myself that the more often I practice taking action, the better I get at it.
For the last couple of years I've been writing a book about my experience with disordered anxiety and the techniques that helped me recover. The book, “Worrier to Warrior, a Memoir and Guide” is complete. As I prepare to get it out in the world, I am creating a companion online course including video instruction of yoga, meditations, visualizations and more plus loads of ideas for self-study and daily rituals to cultivate contentment and a life of meaning.
I have also announced a luxury yoga holiday in France next May! I’ve been dreaming of hosting a retreat in Europe for a long time, but I felt overwhelmed by the process and the actions that would have to be taken. This retreat has felt very “right” from the beginning. The Chateau owners found me rather than me having to search for the ideal location, then, a perfect partner with insight on the European market showed up in my life to help. Soon after, a Travel Advisor stepped in to support my guests in their payments and planning, and now, there is room for just 3 more people! Please visit my retreats page to read all about it and to register.
Let Go of Expectations
When taking an action toward a specific goal, it’s easy to get caught up in specific expectations for a desired outcome. What I’ve noticed is results will always be different than I imagined and on a timeline I can’t control. When taking an action, I think it’s important to take the action for the action’s sake and intend to release expectations. I love the quote by writer Anne Lamott- “Expectations are resentments under construction.”
When an action yields an undesired result, I like to think of it as a guidepost in my life. I intend not to take it personally, (my intentions are the only thing I can control) and move on to the next inspired action. It’s like a game of hot and cold. I’ve reached out to certain studios or publishers and there’s been no answer. In the past, I would have taken that as confirmation that I should give up. (It can feel easier to let our dreams go sometimes because if they come true, then we REALLY must show up and that’s pretty scary.) Now, I accept their unresponsiveness as a sign to take the new action of contacting new people, and that’s offered me new opportunities and most importantly, renewed resilience.
Know Your Why
If you're considering a desired outcome, whether it be a goal realized or the creation of more positive emotions, ask yourself why you want it. Holding our reasons in our hearts supports us when self-doubt sets in,
My reasons for wanting to create resources for people who are struggling with anxiety and panic stem from my desire to create meaning out of the years I spent suffering with the isolation and shame of disordered, chronic anxiety. That pain led me toward a path of healing that included yoga, meditation, mindfulness, psychology and personal development. The skills I cultivate to stay present and soothe my body and mind support me every day.
When I felt unquenchably compelled to take a yoga teacher training in 2008, I did it for the sake of widening my understanding of a yoga practice. Upon completion I was afraid to teach to others. Everything about the physical realities of teaching is incredibly confronting and triggering. But, I felt compelled to share this intelligent system of healing that helped to walk this lost self home.
An Invitation:
I invite you to check out the new site lisadumasyoga.com, and perhaps get on the waitlist to find out more about my upcoming online course or share an informative blog with someone who may need it. When I was suffering the most with anxiety attacks and fear, I didn’t know where to turn and I didn’t talk about it because I felt so ashamed of my inner turmoil. I didn’t think anyone would understand, I worried I would scare people with my messiness. My blog is a safe and easy way to learn about the roots of anxiety and simple tools we can all use to feel better and stronger.
ALIGNED ACTION
The information available online is such a gift to me. So, it feels right to take actions to offer something that I know I would appreciate receiving. When considering an action step, a great barometer to use is how honest it feels. Does the action support an authentic purpose in your life? Take note if the action has a “should” attached to it. Is the action based on what other people are doing and there’s a sense of keeping up? Sometimes the best action is not to; to take the time to reflect on what you truly want, and why. Especially ask how you want to feel at the desired outcome of your actions. What actions are you already taking that cause you to feel content, alive and vital?
Someone in the world needs what you can offer from your experience. One of the best counters I’ve ever heard to the stifling thought of “Who am I to do this thing I want to do?” is “Who are you not to?” Teachers and Authors like Caroline Myss and Stephen Cope write that each of us has a responsibility to fulfill our purpose, our “dharma” or “sacred contract”. Your purpose might be loving the people in your life with your own special brand of nurturance, creating a product that fills a need or being a dedicated and important part of a company.
Clients tell me the actions they’ve taken in their lives have gotten them to a place they aren’t satisfied with. They say they “should be farther along by now”. I can identify with this thought. I’ve had it regarding every area in my life, my work, my mothering, my intelligence to name a few. What feels truer in my deeper knowing though, is this- I’m just where I need to be. I know that staying open and present creates the conditions for inspirations to arrive to me. I can choose to take an action based on that inspiration, or I can talk myself out of it. There will always be another idea around the corner and if I can create momentum by taking the first step, then the next and the next after that, the possibilities are limitless.